Jess Howard is an orphaned teenage girl who is slightly insane at times. Ever seen when cartoon people are angry steam comes out of their ears? Well, Jess's entire head goes on fire when she's angry, causing bald spots to appear on her head. But like any other human, her hair will grow back. She obsesses over llamas and even worships one. She is a self proclaimed "Llama Whisperer" and "Llama Princess". Jess is also apart of a secret organization called the Pink Pirate Ninjas (PPN) and is a closet martial artist. She is Drew Howard's sister, Edward Howard and Lynn Impertinent's niece, the Impertinent twins' cousins, and Gramps Howard's grandaughter. Jess crushes over most boys she sees, but usually boys that could pass as gays (such as Nathan or Muse) more than others. Despite this, she thinks her brother is a closet-gay (even though he is not) and often playfully makes fun of him for it. The name of Jess's "biffle" (best friend forever) is Clarissa Houchens-Rodriguez and they do a lot of things together.
Jess's style would be considered a crime by the fashion police if there ever was one. She likes buying long-sleeved shirts with the sleeves so long that they cover her fingers. People used to think she wore shirts like that because she was poor. She actually just wears them because they keep her fingers warm. Apparently, that's not enough because she wears mittens (not gloves, she hates gloves) in the winter months, too. Jess also likes plain color sleeveless shirts usually with one of those outer helping bras with some sort of pattern on it. She will always wear short jeen shorts (even during winter) with patches on them even when not needed. If it's winter she will wear long socks with rain boots. If it's not winter she wears normal socks with flip-flops or sandals. Jess is also against earrings because she's scared that they will hurt. She will wear clip-ons if she ever needs to wear earrings. Instead of telling about her fear of earrings she just says she wants to keep her body "natural" and not do anything to it. While dressed as a PPN, she wears a black pirate hat and a pink martial arts suit with a black belt or a pink Kimono. She never lets her hair down, it's always in a ponytail or in pigtails. Below are some of Jess's appearances:
- She is only an inch taller and a year older than the Impertinent twins.
- Jess's real name is actually Jessica. However, when her parents died so did her real name because Jess and Drew couldn't pronounce Jessica at the time. So, Jess and Drew's grandpa decided to just call her Jess until they could pronounce it correctly, but the name stuck.
- Along with her fear of earrings, Jess also has had a fear of boats ever since her parents died on one.
- Nobody knows what her dominant hand is because she has equally sloppy handwriting with both hands.
- Jess' birthday is the same date as "National Llama Appreciation Day".